Driving - Indian style

- When driving in India, keep your car in the middle of the road.
- Lanes? What are lanes?
- When overtaking, honk your horn.
- There's is no need to use rear-view mirrors. Cars will honk their horn if overtaking.
- Trucks do not have indicators and may go from the middle of the road to one side at any point. Honk your horn.
- Trucks do not have, or will not use, rear-view mirrors. Honk your horn if planning to overtake, or if you are in close proximity of one (which is ALWAYS).
- Mind the cows.
- If a person looks like he or she is about to cross the road in front of you, honk your horn to let them know you're not stopping.
- Never mind the camels.
- Accept that driving is really only a motorised version of slalom.
- Never mind the donkeys, dogs, monkeys or crowds of people.
- Swish past motorcycles, but honk your horn if the sari-wearing wife is riding along.
- Speed limit, Schmeed splimit!

My driver's a master so about 6 hours and 15 near-death experiences since leaving Delhi, I have arrived in Pushkar - famous for it's temples and pick-pockets!

Cows and kali

I made it to Delhi eventually. This place is hysterical.
Unfortunately I've found that it is ill-advised for me to be out walking around on my own at this time - mainly for the fact that I can't see any other women on the street. I did have a fascinating taxi ride in though, past religious celebrations and some 16,000 cows.

Tomorrow morning I am off on my tour of Rajasthan. Since Typhoon Nuri shortened my holiday, I have opted for a private driver instead of train rides. This is a shame but will make for a more efficient use of my time.

So if you don't hear from me over the next few days, I'll be in Pushkar, Jaipur and Agra.

Maldives is SO last season!

Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet has issued a warning about a newly-wed couple. It seems the happy couple met while serving life sentences for killing off a few people. They recently got married, and have now escaped prison to go on honeymoon.

I think it is so important that you as a couple have similar interests. Sure, there should be room for compromise and independence, but if you are into say, "killing people", meeting someone like-minded really helps the relationship develop. It is also nice to see that there's still a sense of adventure in young couples:

"What should we do for our honeymoon, babe?"
"How about a prison break?"
"Yes! You know, I've always wanted to do that"

...and they lived happily ever after.

http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article3159100.ab

Floored

I managed to talk a taxi company into a T9, 3am pick up, only to discover that my flight had been further delayed.
Being a creature of (at least some) comfort, I strolled over to the airport hotel in the naive hopes that they might have just one tiny room left. They did not, obviously.
Instead I plonked myself down in a corner of the airport along with the thousands of other stranded passengers. Amazingly enough, I slept like a baby. Since I knew not to expect any further updates until 09.30, I even had a lie-in...on the floor (I found a bench at 09.30, and slept another 30 min there).

If my flight leaves at 13.30 as the current schedule suggests, I only have left to convince the Indian immigration services that although my passport does not strictly speaking have 6 months validity (5.5 months only), they still ought to let me in. No problem, surely!

Delayed...after all

It seems that although Air India doesn't mind flying in a T8, the Chek Lap Kok airport is not that keen on letting them do so in a T9, which is supposedly the current status. My flight has been delayed until tomorrow morning. It's ok, I wasn't sure if I was going to find a taxi anyway.

I live quite close to one of the HK weather observatories (Waglan island) so I can pretty confidently tell you that wind speed is currently around 94 km/hour. It's cool.

That was all!

A bit of wind never killed anyone

I was just on the phone with Air India. My flight is about the only one not listed as "Cancelled" on the airport info site.

- No, Madame, the flight is not cancelled, just delayed.
- Really?! That's great, but what about the typhoon?
- Oh, it's just a bit of wind. We can still take off.

Typhoon schmyfoon I say. I like Air India!!!

There's a typhoon outside my window

IF, I could force the front door open into the mad gusts of wind. If there would be a kamikaze taxi driver waiting up the road. If the airport express was running. If pilots for Air India were desperately homesick. Then I would be going to Delhi today. I don't think it will happen. Oh well, tomorrow's another day!

Irrational lack of aerophobia

It seems Typhoon Nuri will be hitting Hong Kong in full force at exactly the same time as my flight is due to depart tomorrow. I wonder if I am the only person in the world who really has nothing against flying in a Typhoon? I rather like when it's a bit bumpy.

Got a job - going on holiday!

I've opened another coconut. My rock n'roll lifestyle ends September 1st, when I will be reporting into my new job like any other mortal.

I thought I would start my new employed life by taking a holiday (as you do) so I have this morning booked a flight to India. I shall attempt to travel around Rajasthan for a week using trains, buses, camels and the odd elephant.

Mother thinks it's a very bad idea for me to be traveling alone but I pointed out to her that considering there's a billion or so people living in India, I am not likely to be alone for much of the time.

Room for improvement

I have been thinking about the Olympics and about sports. I think it would be much more challenging if some sports were combined so that the athlete had to master several skills at once.
I have a few suggestions:

100 m Fencing
Synchronised Swim Boxing (two teams of synchronised swimmers would launch team members wearing boxing gloves at the other team to try to disturb their routine)
Underwater Hurdles
Synchronised Ski-jump Shooting
Triple Javelin Jump
Ice Tennis

I think I would be particularly good at 200m Rubbish Talk.

Crayfish

I ended up opposite IKEA in Causeway Bay today. I'm in dire need of my annual fix of crayfish so I popped in to see if they had any. They did...and ironically enough, they were Chinese. So my kilo of delicious red critters were caught in China, shipped to Sweden for cooking and packaging (it says so on the package!), then sent back to China to be sold at IKEA. My crayfish have quite an impressive carbon footprint.

Jub hunting

My flashy summer lifestyle is coming to an end and I am applying for jobs. Tomorrow I have an interview and the company has sent me directions:

Our address is Room D7, 7/F, Yip Fat Factory Bldg (Phase One), Kwun Tong, Kowloon, HK. Please look for Exit B3 at Kwun Tong MTR Station and you will see a stair and please walk down. After that, you have to walk straight for about a minute, and you will find a door number of 77. Don't be shocked when you see the big trucks, please walk inside and you'll find the lifts

It seems the porn industry has really gone down since my last production!

Olympics

I have just watched the very impressive Olympics opening ceremony. Despite having some 15467 TV channels, the closest I could get to live coverage was a program with 5 Chinese men discussing the games (in Cantonese) while the opening ceremony was being shown on screens behind them.
So instead I ended up watching German Eurosport streamed from a Macedonian TV channel via a website in Malaysia (seriously!).

I have a few thoughts on the ceremony.

- I like the idea of using the Chinese alphabet to determine the order countries entered the arena. Gabon, Turkey, Benin, Canada, Mali...it sort of added a bit of excitement (it was a rather long ceremony and I was bored waiting for Sweden...at number 185!)

- I would never want to compete for Greece as their team always have to spend hours in a hot arena waiting for the other monkeys.

- I liked the little fan/wind machine on the flag poles. Beauty is in the details!

- What was up with the bagpipes and bongo drums?

- I think the final torch runner (or flier) burnt off his eye brows...at least.

Yummy!

The new Chinese Olympic stadium is called the Bird's Nest. Bird's Nest, found in Bird's Nest Soup, is a delicacy in China and has been used in cooking for hundreds of years. The edible version is the saliva of the cave swift.

That was all!

Lucky day

Happy 888 day everyone. May your day be extra lucky and prosperous.

Dumb dumber

Last night, P and I had a great, although rather drunk, celebration of our last wedding day anniversary. The evening was spent on the balcony drinking copious amounts of wine and talking rubbish.
At one point P told me:

- Nowadays I only date dumb girls, as next to them, I seem smarter.

-Yes, I know what you mean, I said. That's why I married you.

He took it like a man...well, he threw water at me!

Wait for me...

I just found out there's a typhoon warning level 3 in HK. This is no big deal and with my luck it will have passed over HK by the time I land.

I don't want any deaths or injuries...but a bit of drama every now and then wouldn't go amiss!

No comment needed!

Ripped this photo from Snaskefar!

With friends like these...

Sitting in Frankfurt airport I recieved a text message that I just have to share here; without asking for permission, obviously!

Agreed! Frankfurt is crap! To provide relief, buy a hot dog and toss pieces at passing Germans, loudly asking "Does the Frankfurter hurt-er? in a mock and slightly sinister German accent. Worked for me in '02. The 4 hour detention and cavity search were a hassle though. Call if you need bail money!"

No point wasting time!

I was queuing up to get a cup of tea at Arlanda Airport this morning. The 30-something year old man in front of me was chatting with the bartender. Jokingly the bartender asked the guy if he was buying a beer. It was “jokingly” because it was 09.30, and Swedes tend to wait with alcohol at least until lunch time.
The guy replied:

- Beer? No, it’s almost 10 – give me a Gin&Tonic, make it a double.

I like his attitude!

Fight club

The cuts in my face no longer hurt but are not exactly esthetically pleasing. It looks like I have been beaten up. I make it a point to tell people “You should see the other guy!’. I think it makes me seem more cool than clumsy.

Leaving the forest

I'm leaving Vibo tomorrow. I would have liked to have stayed for a little while longer but as someone pointed out...it's ok to talk to cats and hedgehogs, but when they start to talk back, it's time to seek out family and friends (and/or get help!).

Kalmar tomorrow, then back home to Honkers!

When wearing a burkha would be practical!

This morning my phone was ringing downstairs so I tried to quickly get out of bed. My legs somehow got stuck, my brain forgot that I have arms, I fell and landed on my face. My chin has been bleeding. My nose looks reasonably normal but is so sore I can barely touch it. My upper lip looks like something out of "When plastic suregy goes wrong". I am not a pretty sight! I was going to leave Vibo today but I think I will stay until I can leave the house without scarying children.

As S pointed out, it has been a while since I last had an accident so I had it coming!

It hurts!