Not so "itsy bitsy" spider

I'm really glad I'm not suffering from arachnophobia as I just discovered the biggest and nastiest looking spider I have ever seen, crawling across my living room floor. It was even bigger than the one that I spotted in the ceiling above me in Maldives while thinking :

That stain looks like a spider but much, much bigger! (then the stain moved)

I didn't kill my flat spider! I captured it in a zip lock bag, zipped the bag, brought it to the balcony, unzipped and let it fall with the bag as a parachute. If my cat survived the fall, so will Mr Spider.

Had I been Chinese, I would have eaten it!

Bon Voyage

I have lost my beloved grandfather today. He has been a constant in my life, the kindest man I have ever known. Although I am relieved that he has finally come to rest, I am going to miss him terribly.

I drink tea

Mother has been accused of being overly curious. She is working hard at proving us wrong by not taking the bait when we mess with her!

Me: I have been invited down to Hult's for a cup of coffee.
Mother: Really, when did you meet him?
Me: Must have been some 16 years ago.

Silence as she realises any further probing would fall under curiousity.

Mother: Marie, you don't drink coffee!

She's class!

Sorry I couldn't make it!

Staying in bed

I'm back from the wilderness of Sweden with a slight cold, massive jet lag and a rather nice tan. I have obviously been occupied with the usual Swedish activities like hunting polar bears, strangling moose with my bare hands, ritual sacrificing of Norwegians, and making plans for our next voyage to rape and pillage some deserving town.

Overall, it was smashing!

It's also nice to return to Hong Kong in a No 8 storm, red rain, thunder, flooding and landslide warnings. It's like God is telling me today is not the day to go back to the gym!

Offline...

...for the next week as I will be in the forest

Optimism

Sister S has a cough.

S: The way I'm couging you could think I am dying
Me: You might be, you are rather old after all.

S: Well in that case I am going to stop saving for retirement.

Smörgåstårta

The standard celebratory food in Sweden is Sandwich Cake.

To make a Sandwich Cake, take everything you think tastes nice:

Ham, cheese, salmon, prawns, paté, cucumber, caviar (red and black), tomatoes, lemon, dill, eggs...then mix in lots of mayonaise and put it all between white bread. Add Swedish flags (not for consumption).

As the typical food served at Christenings, my Vicar cousin has decided to take stats over how many Sandwich Cakes she will be eating each year. It is very likely she'll be digging in once a week for the rest of her life. Lucky, lucky girl!

Shampoo

I have been clearing out my bathroom cabinet, and I am shocked at the amount of cosmetics and toiletries I have acquired since moving to Hong Kong. It's even more shocking when you consider that I don't actually use more than 1/20 of it!

When I grew up, my mother would never spend money on brand name toiletries. Instead, my family got by on bulk size bottles of the supermarkets' own brands. I remember being embarrassed after each gym class when the rest of the girls took out their colourful branded bottles, while I stood there with an ugly bottle of Coop's finest. These things matter to a 12-year old girl.

A 31-year old is wise enough to know that there is very little difference between what my mother had me use as a child, and the bottles my hair dresser talks me into buying. Comparing the price, however, we are talking the difference between buying a used kayak and a Panamax vessel.

Having thrown out numerous bottles that never did any good for me, I am going to take another step closer to becoming my mother, and start buying shampoo in bulk size. I might even get some really pretty glass bottles to decanter the shampoo into. I saw some when I was in Venice. I wonder if the money I'll save on not buying expensive shampoo is enough to pay for a trip there? Yes, I think so!

Unwanted company

Svenska Dagbladet is reporting that a British man received Euro 953 in compensation from his travel agent, after complaining that his hotel was full of Germans!

This has angered the Germans into black listing holiday resorts that are full of Brits. They have also issued a guide on to how to recognize a British tourist:

“Bright red, beer belly and hair cropped short – not a pretty sight”

I would like to add to the discussion, that the above description fits quite well on German tourists as well.

I am also looking forward to the British equivalent of the German black list. I think it is quite good of them to do this so that the rest can make use of both lists and avoid Brits and Germans altogether.

For now, this is where NOT to go if you want to avoid Brits:

1) Bay of Palma, Mallorca
2) San Antonio, Ibiza
3) Playa de las Americas, Teneriffa
4) Ayia Napia, Cypern
5) Faliraki, Rhodos
6) Malia, Kreta

Heja Sverige

Happy Swedish National Day to you all!

Veni, vidi, vici

The final battle is over and I have won the war against “Worst Employer of the Year”.

It took getting ANGRY. I find it very difficult to get angry so I had to mentally prepare for it ahead of time. I spent my journey to work thinking about things that make me angry (that Yeltsin will only be remembered in history as a drunk, when in fact he had a crucial role in the fall of Soviet Communism; and that those really great yellow sandals at Nine West are not available in my size).

I won in the end the final battle of “Where’s the Document” by the words:
“No, it is not my document. It belongs to the company, I just wrote it. Since I am no longer part of this company, it is not my responsibility to find it!”

I then packed up my four pairs of shoes and left, paycheck in hand!
(The Document is by the way stored where all my other files are stored and I am certain they will find it if they only bother to look.)

It’s good to get ANGRY sometimes! A friend used to tell me that getting really angry once and awhile is like having great sex. She claimed that one can be substituted for the other. I don’t really agree but I can see her point…and I feel really sorry for her husband.

Nothing to say

I have had to go back on strike AGAIN, to protect…well, my intellectual property rights (and get paid!) .

I am not good when I don’t have my mind occupied on something. I go dumb and lazy! Hence I complete lack in inspiration for this today. Tomorrow I’ll attempt to find a hobby to fill my days with until I can start working again.