Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Walkers Crisps have launched a new series of flavours. They were composed by asking the general public for suggestions, and consists of flavour combinations such as Chilli & Chocolate, Fish & Chips, Cajun Squirrel (may contain traces of nuts?).
Unfortunately I missed the call for flavours. Otherwise I would have suggested the following, which would have been big hits on the Asian market. I'm sure.
Walker's Puppies & Kittens Crisps
Walker's Jellyfish & Placenta Crisps
Walker's Shark Fin Crisps
Walker's Yellow Snow Crisps (would have an international following - it could be beer!)
Walker's Sushi Crisps
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
My friend R sometimes finds it challenging to stop herself from thinking out loud.
She had recently decided to "spice things up" at home. Being a rather shy and reserved person, she was horrified at the thought of walking into the sort of shop that would normally sell the "electronic additive" she was after. A postal order from similar places was out of the question -in case the parcel would end up at the neighbours', or the return address reveal to the postman what goes on in her bedroom.
Instead she set out to search "regular" home shopping websites, thinking that sex toys are so accepted nowadays they should be available from most places.
So it was while sitting at work, searching Amazon.com, that her brain went into to talking mode and she exclaimed in frustration:
-Oh, surely a vibrator is a small home appliance!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I'm not entirely sure when this tradition started. I'm guessing a couple of girlfriends dove into a tub of wine one night and decided to give themselves a snog-every-guy-at-the-party justification. I salute them!
It's the 24th April - mark your calendars and go search out a Swede.
I'll be in Happy Valley.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I was 16 when I was first exposed to jazz. I had talked my teachers into sending me to a "Weekend for the Environment" course.
There I met a boy, who used to be a Svensson or Andersson or maybe Larsson, but was now Lion-island.
He had a motorbike, he was fabulous, and much older than I was. What can I say!
Lion-island took me out of the student hostel, and with the help of the fake ID I carried, took me into one of the "in-clubs" (for environmentalists) where jazz was the only item on the menu.
Being born cynical, I found Mr Lion-island just as pretentious as he was. I did like the jazz though. I still do!
Very much so.
Many years later, my father and I found jazz a common ground to get the evil stepmother out of the room.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Seldom has the approaching Easter holiday been so welcome. Among the four teachers in my centre 3 are suffering from a cold, 2 are in mourning, 1 is contemplating suicide after a bad break-up, 1 is finding it very difficult to cheer up the rest, 1 has back problems, 1 is tired of living in Hong Kong, 2 are tired of the students.
We are not a very cheerful bunch. 3 days to go.
Friday, April 3, 2009
A close friend died tonight. She was hit by a car.
I know because her boyfriend used the "last dialled number" function on her mobile phone.
She rang me yesterday. I wasn't terribly busy but I didn't feel like a chat. I rejected the call. Guess how well I feel right now!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I'm not being sarcastic, I really like it. I watch it every few months crawled up in bed, laughing hysterically, scared witless and amused beyond control.
After each viewing, I carefully check under the duvet cover, under the bed and the dining table. If there are no snakes in sight I turn out the light and go to sleep. Inevitably I then wake up a few hours later, convinced something is crawling in my bed.
I'm not entirely sure why I put myself through this madness time after time. I suppose I quite like that for a few hours I can let go of all rational thought and just behave like a crazy person.
I should add perhaps that I only do this in private.