Wednesday, February 25, 2009

No, not crazy...backache!

My doctor is a bit of a lunatic. I love her. Not only is she an excellent person, she is also a very liberal drug prescriber. I trust her completely (and I like prescription drugs) so I happily pop any pills she passes my way. Through a slipped disk, acute gastroenteritis and bronchitis, I have munched my way through quite a cocktail.

I recently realised though, that a drug she's prescribed on more than one occasion is an anti-depressant. I had to ask her about it; did she think I was depressed?

-No, no! she replied. But, we all get a bit down when we're not feeling well. The pills will help you relax, sleep a bit better and recover faster.

There was a logic in this. I could accept it.

Suffering from back pain again, I went to see my crazy, beloved GP this morning. Handing me a bag-full of anti-inflammatories she added:

That's all I can do without giving you something that will knock you out. Do you want something that will knock you out? I can sign you off work for a few days.

I must admit that I was really tempted to slip into a drug induced coma for a few days. Work-guilt, however, made me pass on the offer.

-What about at night though? she continued. I'll give you something that will make you sleep really well. Don't take it before you're in bed - it's fast acting...and probably best not to drink alcohol.

-Is this another psychopharma?

- Yes, it's GREAT!

Having googled it, I am pleased to inform you that for the next week I will be sleeping on a highly addictive muscle relaxant, normally prescribed for severe anxiety, but with some pleasant sedative/hypnotic effects. It is also a strong amnesiac so I don't expect to remember much of the week ahead.

Can't wait until bedtime!

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