Hello again.

I've not visited here for almost a full year. You started to bore me, dear blog, and I found that I enjoyed painting and...sleeping more than updating you. The year's almost up though so perhaps I ought to tell you what I've been up to.

First I ended a terrible relationship. Entering into it in the first place was the only big mistake I've made in my life. I don't think one should go through life without making a few mistakes so it really was about bloody time. I learned that I can hold a grudge.

I made a triumphant journey to Nepal, where I trekked up a mountain, hang-glided off another mountain, rafted through rivers, camped out on a river bed, rode elephants, wrestled with rhinos and got drunk with a local band in Katmandu.

I moved again. This time I left Hong Kong Island for the quiet surroundings of Tai Po. I found a tiny little village without shops or regular bus services, right on the waterfront with a gorgeous mountainous backdrop. There I am the only gweilo and an object of much curiosity. People smile and nod when they see me, and push their kids forward hoping for free English tutoring.

I found a new local with lots of decent people. I also found another local where people are not so decent but the food is. I started singing karaoke on a frequent basis. I discovered that I'm a really terrible singer. I found friends that (also) think it's perfectly reasonable for a party to go on until lunchtime the next day.

I managed to squeeze in a short trip home to see my Granny, and a weekend trip to Vietnam to see the Vietnamese.

I caught pneumonia and had to stay in hospital for a week. It was boring.

I messed up the Christmas meatballs again this year.

A visit to the doctor's

Doctor: So do you want me to give you rabies?
Me: Eum...yes! (desperately hoping she's referring to the vaccine against it)

I'm being vaccinated against everything in Nepal.

Pokeaneyeout

In Japan it's supposedly NOT illegal to hit someone with chopsticks.

This feels strange. Surely it's illegal to hit people, chopsticks or no chopsticks??

No, NO - I pressed the WRONG BUTTON!!

There's a new (?) Swedish website dedicated to text messages that were sent to the wrong person http://www.felsms.com/

We've all done it.

My favourite is one that reads:

"Have you seen Linnea's baby? I was almost scared. You could see the veins through the skin on its head. A bit like an alien. And then he looked like his father and that's not exactly good news either."

Let's just say that Linnea was not impressed.

Chinese Style Conservation

The sad part of the story is really how long it took me to draw, scan, rotate and upload this flowchart!

Dumbo

Me: So...do we have any endangered animals here in Hong Kong?

Class: (blank faces)

Me: We have one.

Class: (blank faces)

Me: It's pink.

Class: (blank faces)

Me: It lives in water.

Class: (blank faces)

Me: No? You don't know of any endangered pink animals, living in water, in Hong Kong?

Student: Ah, ELEPHANT!

Me: Yes, that's right. The pink, swimming elephant of Hong Kong is indeed endangered!

Loony L

I have a new American co-worker - L. I say American, but I actually think she immigrated there from Loonyland!

From Loonyland she moved to Kalihi, a small town outside Honolulu, Hawaii. I know this place very well as I’ve also lived there once upon a time.

L: Oh, so did you ever see the ghost of that Japanese woman who used to stand by the petrol station?

Me: No, I never saw her.

L: Really, you never saw her? She was there all the time.
(This should be read in the same tone as I would ask someone: Really, you didn’t know that grass is green?)

Me: Must not have been paying attention.

L: Oh, but what about on Pali Highway, did you ever cross over?

Me: Yes, yes. Many times.

L: So did you see the ghosts of the 100 Hawaiians up there.

Me: Hmmm…no I don’t think so…and that’s strange because I used to hike up there.

L: My father worked for the IRS and there were lots of ghosts in their offices.

Me: This I can see.

She’s completely bonkers – I love her!