No need for slalom

I'm not an adrenaline junkie. I love new experiences and new sights. However, if they involve risking my neck in some way or another, I am happy giving it a miss. This might surprise my frequent readers, but the truth is that I get my kicks in other ways.

I told CH about my plans for another India trip this year. He replied:

India is cool. I like the idea of going to a country where a glass of water or a vegetable can kill you. That's so unlikely in France. Boring. In India I could kill my boss with a tomato!

...and that's spot on the kind of experience that gives me a new lease of life.

Cantonese 101

ding (v) - to heat food using a microwave. 'Ok to ding'. 'I'm just going to ding it'.

ding ding (n) - a tram. 'Please stop at the ding ding terminal'. 'I'm taking the ding ding to work today'.

Apodysophilia

One problem, living with two cats, is that at any given point in time, there's an infinite amount of cat hair covering just about everything in my flat. Even after hours of vacuuming, when every possible surface is sparkling clean, there's still cat hair lingering around in the air.

This makes it pretty much impossible to leave my flat cat hair free. One tactic, which works reasonably well, is to wait to the very last minute before putting clothes on.

THIS is the reason why my neighbours can enjoy frequent peep shows. It has very little to do with my exhibitionist side.

Fallacy

A HK newspaper recently reported that a famous local pianist had been arrested under suspicion of domestic violence.

He had responded that, as everyone knows, artists do not hit people, so he couldn't possibly be guilty.

Wraith or wine

I'm not even embarrassed to admit that last night I chose to watch 4 back-to-back episodes of Stargate SG-1 over popping down to my local.

...well, maybe a little bit.

Cause and effect

- Are you scared of snakes?, I asked the student who had just declared himself fearless.
- No, no. I eat snakes.
- Yes, of course, silly me! All kinds of snakes, or do you have a preference?
- Those big ones, that strangles goats.
- Pythons.
- Yes. I had two bowls of python soup every day for 3 years.
- Wow, you must really like python soup.
- No, it's not very nice but it will clear up acne.
- How old were you when you did this?
- Between 15 and 18.
- So when you stopped eating python soup at 18, your acne had cleared up.
- Yes, amazing.
- Yes. New vocabulary to look up: puberty

Revelations

Tonight I was told that:
"Now that I've talked to you, I've realised that you're not just a piece of meat. There's actually more to you than just a beautiful face and fantastic breasts."

I really wish someone would take it upon themselves to educate men in the art of picking-up.