Eli attack

Immediately upon entering my flat, I can tell whether or not Juliet, the cleaner, has been there. Not because of the lack of cat hair and general tidiness, but because my eli-on-strings' right leg is bent.
At first I thought that she bumped into it whilst cleaning, but I am slowly starting to suspect that she does it on purpose. When the right leg is bent, it's whole height is carried by the left leg and the strings.
As eli-on-strings is an antique, and really very heavy, I worry that the strings will break one day and send him into a floor-bound free fall. Perhaps this is Juliet's cunning plan to get rid of the evil-looking puppet.

Seven useless facts

Snaskefar has requested that I follow in the game "reveal 7 facts about yourself". Since the request did not include "then send it to ten friends or you will have bad luck forever", I am happy to oblige.

1. First time I heard of the concept “mock Tudor” I thought it meant "bagpipe player".

2. In Russia I had a pet cockroach called Igor.

3. It takes me 22 min to get ready in the morning. If I’m in a hurry I can cut the time down to 10 min – this still includes a shower.

4. I have 84 pairs of shoes…not including boots or trainers.

5. I take the radio quiz Melodikrysset almost every week.

6. I was once invited to join my friend the Prince of Congo to a bbq at Gordon Brown’s house, but I didn’t go because I had a really wicked hangover!

7. I’ve never attempted a handstand, not even against a wall.

Swedish bureaucracy

I’m going for another battle with the Swedish Consulate this week. I’m not sure if I ever shared our first encounter with you.

I lost my passport in April or something, and since I can be a bit procrastination-prone I had not bothered getting a new one.

Come July, an unexpected trip came up, so I finally made an appointment with the Consulate.
I arrived and started talking to what actual turned out to be the Consul General herself.

Me: Hi, I need an emergency passport.
Stupid Diplomat Woman (SDW): Did your passport expire?
Me: No, I lost it.
SDW: Have you reported the loss to the police?
Me: No. Eh, not yet!
SDW: When did you lose it?
Me: Some time ago.
SDW: Was it stolen?
Me: No, it went missing when I moved.
SDW: It went missing?
Me: Yes
SDW: Have you looked for it?
Me: Yes
SDW: But you can’t find it?
Me: No
SDW: You really should make sure you know where you have your passport.
Me: Yes (love being lectured). But now I need an emergency passport.
SDW: You need a police report first.
Me: There’s no time. My flight leaves tomorrow.
SDW: You’ll have to change your flight.
Me: I can’t
SDW: Why not?
Me: It’s an emergency, hence the need for an emergency passport.
SDW: Well, I can’t issue an emergency passport if you have lost yours.
Me: Of course you can!
SDW: No, we need a police report.
Me: I got an emergency passport in March while applying for a Russian visa. I didn’t need a police report then.
SDW: That’s different.
Me: Why?
SDW: You hadn’t lost your real one then.
Me: If I was at Arlanda airport, about to go on holiday but I had left my passport at home, I could get an emergency passport!
SDW: Yes, but you would know where you had your passport.
Me: Ok, so let’s say I know where it is but my flight is leaving in two hours and I haven’t got time to go home to get it.
SDW: But that’s not the case.
Me: Let’s pretend it is.
SDW: No, you’ve already told me that you’ve lost your passport.
Me: Ok, can I leave and come back in five minutes to give someone else here a different version of events?
SDW: No
Me: So what are my options? I have to be on that flight.
SDW: Well, I suppose we can’t deny you a passport. Here, fill out this form.
Me: ???????

I still haven’t got a real passport. This is why I need to revisit the mad-house. I do however have a police report now.

Major Major Major Major

S asked if I'm taking Nilsson back or if I'm going to be to be a bit more last name-creative. He suggested a double-barrel name as in Marie Double-Barrel.
The Chinese find it difficult to cope with "Marie". Imagine the confusion that would follow if I were to adopt S's suggestion.

I wasn't planning on changing my name again, but perhaps I ought to. One could have all sorts of fun with it.
Donalds (my initials are MC)
Urderer (my students are easily frightened)
Swede (as if it wasn't obvious enough)

The right line of work?

My cousin writes on her blog today that she and her boyfriend almost missed their domestic Thai flight because they had confused the arrival and departure times. There's nothing particularly funny about this. It is, however, rather ironic considering they both work as airline pilots!

So how did you guys meet?

I've just had a brief chat about whether or not people should have cover stories for how they met, if it happened to be online.

I think that online dating is probably the most honest way to meet someone. You exchange a few emails, meet up, hopefully have a nice evening and become at least friends.

Owning up to the fact that you met online can in no way be more embarrassing than hooking up with someone in a bar, get drunk and end up in bed with a guy you don't know the first thing about.

Or even worse, meet someone at say, a Tory Party event, get drunk and exchange phone numbers...who would ever want to own up to meeting like that?

No wait, that's how I met my ex!

En casa solo

I've had my family over for a week. It's been really nice to have them here, although a bit of a challenge speaking Swedish every day (I'm crap!).

My auntie is a frequent reader of this blog. This means that whenever I start telling a wee story about something that's happened to me recently...she already knows! It's nice but rather strange. I have decided to hold back on some stories for next time so I can have some original material for her.